Do That (how to be gentle with yourself when everything hurts)

Do That

Be gentle with yourself.

I mean it.

Be gentle.

 

The way you would with somebody you love,

who has gone past brave

and straight into barely holding it together.

 

You wouldn’t tell them to “get over it”

or “look on the bright side.”

You’d put a hand on their shoulder. 

You’d sit with them. 

You’d stay.

 

Do that.

Do that for the one carrying your name.

 

Right now. 

 

Your body still here, doing what it knows.

Your heart still keeping time 

through all that noise.

 

And maybe that’s enough

for this night to ease its grip,

enough for your own name

to sound kinder in your head,

enough for one small moment

to become a place to rest.

(2020, © Julia Delaney)

When Gentleness Feels Impossible

I wrote this on a particularly bad night when I couldn’t follow any of the advice I usually give myself. Couldn’t “think positive” or “be grateful” or any of that exhausting work of trying to feel better. I was too tired to fight myself anymore.

So I tried something different. I tried just… not making it worse. Not adding judgment on top of pain. Not telling myself I should be handling this better. Just sitting with myself like I’d sit with a friend who was hurting. Not trying to fix them. Just being there.

The thing about being gentle with yourself is that it’s not natural for most of us. We’re trained to be our own drill sergeants, our own harshest critics. We think being hard on ourselves will make us stronger, better, more worthy. But when you’re already on the floor, beating yourself up just keeps you there longer.

This poem is for getting through the next minute without adding to your own suffering, treating yourself with the basic kindness you’d show a stranger who was crying.

The sun will rise because that’s what it does, not because you earned it or deserve it or figured anything out. And maybe tomorrow you’ll notice something small – light through a window, the taste of water, the fact that you’re still here. Not because it means anything profound. Just because noticing something besides pain is its own small mercy.

Be gentle with yourself, because you’re tired, and gentleness is the only thing that doesn’t exhaust you more.

That’s all. That’s the whole practice. Just don’t make it harder than it already is.

Be Alive 🌱
Love ❤️, Julia

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