For everyone who’s ever been the life of the party while dying inside. Who makes everyone laugh while no one sees you cry. Who’s surrounded by people who “love” you but don’t actually see you. This is about that specific loneliness – being everyone’s sun while aching for someone to sit with you in the dark.

Unseen

In my dreams,
I’m moving through a crowd. 
It’s loud – 
laughter spilling over,
voices overlapping like waves.
 
On the outside,
I look like I belong.
I laugh at the right times.
I brush arms with strangers,
smile at familiar faces.
 
But inside,
it’s so quiet it hurts.
A silence that chews at me
from the inside.
People catch my eye
and see what they expect – 
warmth,
light,
a version of me that’s easy to hold.
 
What they don’t see
is the weight in my chest,
the story 
I can’t seem to hand to anyone 
to hold.
 
I want someone to pause.
To really look.
To hold my gaze long enough
to hear the words I’m not saying.
 
I’m their sun,
bright, visible,
a comfort in the daylight.
Yet I ache for the moon,
for the dark,
for the quiet,
for the kind of knowing
that only happens when two people sit
in the same silence
and don’t look away.
 
In the crowd I am alone. 
Not poetically alone. 
Actually alone. 
Actually unseen. 

(2018 © Julia Delaney)

lonely

If you’re reading this and feeling seen for the first time today – you’re not alone in being alone. Sometimes the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows, and nobody thinks to look there.

Be Alive 🌱
Love ❤️, Julia

Rhyme & Reason

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